Periods, Painful Sex, and Prolapse January 2025

What better way to start 2025 off with a newsletter outside of my comfort zone.

As many of you know, I grew up Catholic. I no longer practice (any religion) but do refer to myself as “Culturally Catholic,” so I often feel kind of bad/guilty for no good reason at all- naturally.

I am also someone who is consistently working on checking shame and stepping into a lot of roles I used to be too scared to talk about.

A small miracle happened this Christmas… more on that, later. That almost truly made me weep. Another little Catholic trait I get to keep- Awe of the world and of healing.

(I will use bad words in this one, as I am feeling a bit more spicier heading into 2025. So if that offends you- move to the last section, I will have a brief synopses)

Periods. 🩸

Let me set the stage for who you are seeing as your Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist.

My first period came on the morning of my mom’s funeral, the day before I turned 13.

In the house I grew up in, we didn’t talk about “that kind of stuff.” I made it through Junior High mostly using half pads and toilet paper to keep blood from escaping (and asking my dad to take me to the store the least amount of times).

Kind of interesting now, because sometimes my 4 year old will see my menstrual cup and could tell you what it is used for. And could tell you he won’t get to have one because he doesn’t have a uterus or a “bah jina” or a vulva.

The really cool part of this (for me) is that if he does have a daughter in the future, she won’t be scared to ask him to take her to the store for pads. And he won’t be embarrassed to grab them when he is grocery shopping.

Periods are actually quite fascinating. They have the potential to teach us so much, if we let them. They should not be so painful a Motrin or two and a good afternoon nap couldn’t help. And if they are- we need to do some investigating.

Sometimes we have shitty periods, even when we don’t have an underlying condition. Sometimes it can be high stress levels, unbalanced diet, too much or too little exercise. Sometimes we miss a period 🚩.

If we have shitty or missing periods on a consistent basis it is so important to seek answers. It impacts our health (in our entire lifespan). Healthy periods generally mean healthier bodies- and healthier bone, muscle, heart and brain.

I personally would not like to enter perimenopause how I entered my first period- surprised and horrified. I know half pads and rolled up toilet paper isn’t going to do the trick this time (arguably wasn’t great back in the late 90s/early 00s). But what might help- taking good care of myself, getting help from others, and getting on hormone replacement when it is time.

Parents:

Many of you have children and I assure you, though I love public schools, they are not learning enough about their bodies. All children can benefit from education around periods, health, anatomy. No, I am not saying kids should be watching non- kid things, but I also do not think a 13 year old girl should not have to hide away in a bathroom stuffing her pants with Scott toilet paper. And boys can know also. They can know that their sisters need to rest (sometimes more than others), they can know that their girlfriends or wives ran out of tampons (and where to find them), etc.

Pay attention to your language around your periods and around your blood. It is the uterus shedding its lining, it IS unnecessary and harmful for kids, teens and adults to think it’s “gross.”

Books I recommend:

Below Your Belt: How to be Queen of your Pelvic Region- Missy Lavender and Jenni Donatello Ihm

Fix your Period- Nicole Jardim

The Fifth Vital Sign- Lisa Hendrickson-Jack

Blood by Dr. Jen Gunter

Painful Sex 😖

My first experience with painful sex was after my first child. I was not in a good place to handle it.

I went to my 6 week visit, hoping someone would ask “how are you?” Because I was truly NOT WELL. I still had bloody nipples, I had a constant reel of terrible things that could happen to my baby and I hadn’t sleep more than 4 hours in a row. That did not happen beyond a brief pleasantry with a visibly hurried OB (with an Mirena box in her hand).

What I took away is- be on birth control, return to sex now and get back in shape. [deeper read- my needs do not matter.]

I had sex a few days later. Not because I wanted to but because, [ya know] the doctor said it was okay. And better to not let anyone feel sad about not having sex, “It is my marital duty after all.”

What might have helped like 29 year old me, absolutely exhausted from taking care of a baby with my terribly busted up body? Probably a lot. Pelvic PT would have been great, easing back into it, and better communication (oh and lube when I was actually ready again).

Painful sex is really the pits. And more complicated than just ignoring the pain. Once you feel pain like that your body (a body which is very smart) stops wanting to do the thing that hurts.

Oh and when did you find out that most women don’t orgasm with penetration alone? So talk about feeling even a little extra busted when connecting with your partner is not only kind of a chore, it hurts now too.

If sex is painful (and not in a fun way): Pelvic PT. Learn your body. Learn what feels good for you. Help the tissues from getting aggravated- Lube, creams, estrogen. And please for the love of GOD, do not just “get through it.”

(Oh squirrel)…. I also recently learned from a family member that I AM the lube dealer….

My favorite brands are:

Good Clean Love and UberLube (and just for a little sidebar, silicone lubricant like uberlube is safeish to use with toys, but make sure you clean them well because it can start to break down the quality).

If lubrication has a scent, makes anything hot, tingling, cold- it’s probably not meant for you or your partner’s vagina.

Books I love:

“Becoming Cliterate” by Laurie Mintz

“Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski

“You are NOT Broken” by Dr. Kelly Casperson

Follow for more

My favorite follows on IG:

Dr. Fenwa Famakibwa Mihouse @drmilhouse

Dr. Kelly Casperson @kellycaspersonmd

Dr. Rachel Rubin @drrachelrubin

Prolapse

This I will really try to keep brief because it was my 2024 Christmas miracle.

Yes, I have prolapse too. I talk about it a lot in real life. I started feeling mine 6 months after the birth of my second baby when I returned to heavier lifting, trying to again fix my own broken body. (Read: let people actually help you- take it from me 😉)

Prolapse can show up for women in many ways, if you have seen me in real life you probably know what that means for you. And if you are like “honestly what the fuck is

she talking about?” Then please email me. And let’s chat some more.

Essentially organs can start to protrude into and sometimes out of the vaginal canal. (Bladder, uterus, and rectum).

You guessed it, Pelvic PT and other things can really really make this so much better.​

My Aunt (also raised in a really- “we don't talk about that in our household”) came up to me at the end of Christmas and said- “Thanks for what you said at 4th of July- I got a pessary and it helps so much.”MIRACLE.

This particular aunt helped raise me and I have never heard her say one thing about bodies before. This to me, is truly a miracle.

And I am so happy to be here for it.

TL;DR/avoiding swear words

About Periods: working through beliefs and teaching our kids about their bodies

About Painful Sex: We are prioritizing our own needs and wants

About Prolapse: we are not accepting things as just part of getting older.

The information provided on this blog—including text, graphics, images, and other material—is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, physical therapist, or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or symptom. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read on this website.