Dancing in the Water August 2025

I have had quite the busy summer and I know many of you have had lots of adventures. I have had a recurrent theme and am having a hard time articulating the things I want to say without making it feel all jumbled. It’s female pleasure.

I want to start by saying pleasure is huge. Sure I might ask about sexual experience- I am a pelvic PT after all, but maybe to start we talk about what brings us pleasure, in the small nooks and crannies of our days.

This letter is just about the simple, mundane pleasure. Presence.

I spent much of July camping with my family and friends. My personal instagram looks like I have had lots of smiles, lots of giggles, lots of sugar… and I have…

And I also feel like I should share- I am often acutely aware of my own general discontent/disconnect/discomfort in my own body. I spent a huge percentage of it self conscious, worried a little and thinking about the future. (I can’t help it- the change of routine make some return to old habits)

I often get a little glimpse of myself in a swim suit and suck it in reflexively (and sadly). I often start reading a novel and quickly feel like I should be reading a self help book or listening to a podcast about business, pelvic floor PT, hormones, or parenting- I mean what is the purpose of just enjoying a book?

Really can I ask- “WHO can benefit from my spare time BESIDES me?”(Rude)

My daughter and I spent a week away, just the two of us.

I had a moment of complete clarity. We were dancing in the water, all that I saw was her smile and all that I felt was the way the water moved me.

She was not self conscious. I didn’t seem to care in the moment if someone was passing a judgement of my body in a bikini. The sun on my face and the waves lifting us up just seemed to be enough.

My eyes just welled with tears. She’s just having fun. I am just having fun. When had I lost that- and is she going to lose it too?

When does it really start- performing and tending almost exclusively to the needs of others?

In my little ping ponging of my very anxious mind-can I just feel like this all the time? (Moment over)

When I am treating patients- I find myself asking- What do YOU like to do? What makes you feel most alive? What brings you great pleasure? (I ask this about sex, but I also ask this about life).

I have heard a great range- cleaning my house, pickleball, playing with my grandkids, walking to Roos Roast with my husband, running around and getting my zoomies out.

I cannot and will not pass judgement, sometimes the most self actualized I feel is when my house is cleaned and toys are put up, sometimes its when my son is trying to share my lap with our growing puppy while I try to carefully drink my coffee.

But I also feel alive (and at peace) when I am feeling the water on my skin, when I hear the guitar solo on “Lie in Our Graves,” when I just watch the birds in the yard and appreciate the robins instead of wishing they were tanagers.

This is just for me. And this is just perfectly enough.

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